Author: lisa.jelly

STOP – Are you happy?

 

I spent my 20s ignoring the nagging in my heart. The little voice I locked away in a ‘black box’ at the back of my mind.

It took a lot of courage to say I wasn’t happy with my life, with my job, with my relationships. It took courage to say it to myself, let along anyone else! I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t happy. Just that ‘something didn’t feel right’. I was skilled at putting a smile on face and pretending everything was ‘fine’.  When inside, it wasn’t.

There is a ‘happiness index’ in the UK. According to the Office for National Statistics, people were asked to rate levels of happiness, anxiety and overall satisfaction with life, with the average score for satisfaction coming out at 7.69 out of 10. The good news is more people said they felt happier in the year ending June 2017 than the previous year but it still means 2.31 people out of every 10 are ‘dis-satisfied’ with their lives! That’s still shocking. Nearly a quarter of the population are not happy with their lives?? Whoa! Something needs to happen here!

But how many times do we actually say the words ‘I’m not happy’?

When do we ask each other ‘Are you happy?’ and give honest responses?

Perhaps it’s the British ‘stuff upper lip’ or the influence of social media presenting everyone’s ‘perfect’ lives that makes it hard to say ‘actually no, things are a bit shit, could you help me’?

Its not to say happy people are happy all the time and unhappy people are always unhappy – this for me is about that general feeling that ‘something’ is missing from life, something is going on that isn’t fulfilling you.

Happiness should be the feeling you want to have when you look back on your life in your old age, and know you did everything in your power to live the life that is true to your heart. (for inspiration check this article on The Regrets of the Dying)

With the rise in levels of depression and anxiety among our population, it is even more important that we take the time to check out our own ‘happiness’ levels, and give ourselves permission when we are not happy to admit to it. Everyone has their own definition of ‘happy’ and I hope over the next few blogs you can start to uncover your own ‘happiness’ index and start to take some steps to bring you back to a 10/10 for life satisfaction.

Its too easy to plod along with every day, ignoring the niggle locked in the black box, saying ‘I’ll deal with that later’. I implore you, if you feel the niggle, if you’ve got The Wobble Factor (see previous blog here) now is the time to act on it. Draw out those feelings. Hit them head on and do something about it. You don’t have time in life to wait.

One tip I have found works wonders for me to work out what I am ‘really’ feeling deep down is writing. It’s a bit old school but a notebook and pen have been my saviours on my self discovery journey over the past couple of years .

When my coach suggested writing, I thought ‘what a load of bollocks’ But now I’m the other side of it, I can’t recommend the practice of regular journaling enough. Often if I’m over thinking something or worrying, I go straight to my journal and write.

And there is a reason for this.

We live most of our time in our ‘conscious’ minds. We are trained out of using our subconscious from a young age in schools where we follow a structured, process focused education system.

Our subconscious is where all our beliefs, deep desires and true feelings live. It develops mainly when we are between 4-7 when our neural pathways connect to hardwire into us who we are going to develop into as adults. And then continues to develop, but we don’t acknowledge our subconscious very often. In fact T.Harv Eker author of Secrets of a Millionaire Mind says that 80% of us live in our conscious minds all the time.

Our ego (that is our conscious mind) does so much of the work and it’s very good at pushing the subconscious out of the way.

But why is the subconscious important and what does this have to do with writing and happiness?

Writing acts like a magic ‘superhighway’ to what is going on in your subconscious, in your soul. Its like a direct line to your deepest inner thoughts, dreams, desires, what makes your happy. The real stuff that is hidden away in the ‘black box’. When you write (and it has to be pen and paper not typing!) you will find things come out on the paper that you had no idea were there!

Trust me. It’s a bizarre thing when it happens the first time!!

And I’ve made some major life choices in the last couple of years based on what has come out when I have been writing.

Writing removes the veil, the filter that happens when you ‘think’ about things too much, when you let you mind do the thinking and don’t connect with your soul that ‘sits’ in your subconscious. It may sounds strange, and that’s because your mind is telling you it is! Listen to your heart. Your intuition. It’s the ‘real’ you.

So here’s what to do:

  1. Find yourself a pen and a notebook and sit at a table. In a quiet place with no-one around to disturb you.
  2. Set yourself a timer for 10 minutes.
  3. Now when the timer starts, put the pen onto the paper and write. Don’t THINK about what you are writing. And write as fast as you possibly can. Don’t stop. Just keep going. It might not make any sense, your writing will probably be crap. But just write. Keep going. Don’t stop.

This is called ’Free-writing’ and is a powerful tool.

  1. Once you have free written for the 10 minutes, stop and observe how you feel? What came up for you?

Perhaps something, maybe not a lot.

But now you are on your journey to open up your subconscious, open up and connect with your soul and start to awaken what is going on with your ‘happiness’ levels and what you can do about it.

I find asking myself a question before I write is helpful. Once you start to write, you’ll come up with your own questions that you want to answer.

But here are a few that will start you off:

What am I happy about it my life?

What am I unhappy about in my life?

What do I want to change?

How committed am I to making these changes?

I suggest you start this practice every day. Spend 15-20 minutes quietly journaling. Write a question at the top of the page or just free-write. Whatever feels right to you. Just DO NOT THINK!! Otherwise it won’t work. It doesn’t matter what you write, no-one else ever needs to see this.

Just know that the writing is TRULY YOU. Its your SOUL coming through to show you that it is awakening and leading you on the path to lead your true life that will lead you to 10/10 satisfaction and happiness every day, or at least on most days!

Enjoy!

Lisa xx

Follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs

#escapeyourbubble

#boldbraveyou

 

The Wobble Factor

So here you are. Approaching ‘middle age’ and reflecting on your life and career so far.

Maybe you’re looking back saying ‘holy moly, its been an awesome ride! I’ve achieved so much and only just got started!’. If that’s you, amazing! You are the 1 in 3 people who feel happy, content and fulfilled about their lives and careers.

Most people, myself included, started to question the ‘why’ of life as I approached my mid-30s.

‘Why did I choose this career path?’

‘Why am I stuck in a career that has no real purpose and is not fulfilling?’

‘Why didn’t I travel / have more adventures when I was younger?’

‘Why am I still single – what’s wrong with me?’

‘Why did I wear that hideous outfit back in 1998?’

This is what I call the The Wobble Factor.

When we have been swimming along nicely in life and then ‘WHOA’ all of a sudden from nowhere we feel like everything is about to implode:

  • You question the life path you are on.
  • Something feels ‘off’ but you’re not sure what.
  • You’re happy but something is missing.
  • You feel a bit all over the place and ‘wobbly’ about life.

It’s a scary place to be. I know. I was there back in 2012 and took a career break to try and ‘steady the wobble’ and work it all out.

I realized a lot had changed in my life since I’d started in my career 12 years earlier. But I hadn’t stopped along the way to check if I was still on the ‘right’ path – the path of life that really in my heart felt right to me.

This is so easy to do! We can easily get stuck on what I call the ‘conveyor belt’ of life: we finish education, have to get a job, perhaps find some (un)lucky soul who wants to spend their life with us, possibly have a couple of kids, get a mortgage and before you realize, you’ve hit your 30s and a panic sets in that you’re running out of time to do all the stuff in life that you want to do!!! For some of us, that means approaching 40 still single and with no kids: ‘is this what I really want for my life??’

Oh and you’re stuck in a job that you hate, but accept it as because it pays for the lifestyle you have become accustomed to.

‘Who cares if I’m working 100s of hours a week if I get the 2 week sunshine holiday once a year!’

 

You have become trapped in a bubble. A safe bubble, but one that is not enabling you to live a life where every aspect of it is 10/10 for how happy, satisfied and motivated you are every day.

So when you start to think about changing an aspect of your life and career, what is that fear that keeps poking it’s nose in….??

The little voice that says…..

‘nah don’t bother doing changing anything, it’s safer this side of the fence where you know what’s what’

 

‘Yeah your job might not float your boat anymore but at least it’s secure, you’re respected in your field, you’ve had loads of promotions so you must be great at it!’

 

‘What’s wrong with you? Just get on with this career, that feeling of ‘there must be more to life’ will go away when you hit that next salary goal!’

 

…but it never does.

 

This feeling that started out really small, just as a little niggle that ‘there must be more to life than this’ is gaining more airtime.

 

The voice saying ‘I reckon I should give it a shot’ and challenging the fear is getting louder….but what if the other side of this fear is so much ‘greener’ and I get to be successful, financially secure AND happy in my career and life choices?

 

It’s time to get REAL about your career and the lifestyle you dream of!

Escape the bubble you are trapped in!

 

So how do you ‘Escape Your Bubble’ and create a work and life of your dreams that fills your heart and soul with happiness and joy every day?

As someone who left the ‘security’ of a permanent corporate role (people did scream “what the hell are you doing?!!”) to leap into the unknown as a freelance Lifestyle and Career coach, I’ve had time to reflect over the last 18 months on what helped me to ‘escape my bubble’ when the Wobble Factor hit me!

In the lead up to launching my exciting coaching programme on the 1st December I’m going to share these insights over the next couple of weeks in a series of blogs called Escape Your Bubble NOW!

The series will cover everything I’ve learnt: from how we deal with the fear of change, work on our mindset around money, increase our confidence, surround ourselves with the ‘right’ people to just stopping and doing NOTHING and listening to my heart. There will also be ‘top tips’ so you can start working on these things RIGHT NOW! and plan your ‘escape’.

 

These insights have enabled me to make all my dreams come true – I’m currently writing this from Devon where I have moved for the winter to work in a gorgeous cottage and walk my dog Maggie on the beach every day!

(Shame it’s raining today but we can’t have everything!!)

#MyNonNegotiables

During my new programme I will support you on a journey of self discovery to make your dream lifestyle and career a reality.

To celebrate the launch, I’ve opened up a limited number of complimentary 1.5 hour coaching intensives in November to help you fast track along the path to Escape Your Bubble and change your life!

We only have one life so don’t waste any more time waiting or procrastinating – email hello@escapeyourbubble.co.uk to book your slot and let’s get you started on the path to Escape Your Bubble today!!

Lisa xxx

It can and will happen.

You are ready for this.

Just f’ing do it!! #JFDI

#escapeyourbubble

Tents, Beaches and Connection #3

Tomorrow I will have been living in Devon for 40 days. (There’s that pesky number 40 again!!!)

 

40 days of pub work, living on a campsite, making new friends, walking lots but most importantly, a chance to ‘stop’ and reflect on where I am and where I am headed.

My reasons for being in Devon are to try and work out what I’m doing with my life.

Because we all need a plan, right?

Perhaps not…..

This trip was intended to sort out my head a bit. I know from past experience that I find it impossible to sort anything out when I am at ‘home’ – my friends laugh at me for not settling, never wanting to be in one place for too long but the truth is, I love the excitement of learning about new places and people – because in these moments, I learn the most about myself.

Also living closer to nature, leading a simple life, strips away the constant stimulation of ‘stuff’ that we have in our homes, the shops, our jobs. This brings us closer to who we are deep down.

Waking up to this view every morning has been a great start to my days:

                

Connection is powerful.

Especially connection with people and places you have not experienced before. Having new conversations stretches your thinking, generates new ideas and opinions and encourages the stimulation of change within. Spending time with people from different backgrounds, ages, views, facilitates reflection on who you are, where you’ve come from and where you are going. It’s an amazing feeling of community when a bunch of strangers find themselves together but share common values, supporting each other and being like family. I have experienced all of this in 40 days and loved every moment, every insight, every thought provoking conversation and thought that I have had. And I have made friends for life.

                                            

My lessons in this short period have been quite overwhelming. I have been meditating lots and spending time really looking deeply into my hopes, dreams and desires for the future and this is what I have realized.

Staying in the same place means you will have the same experiences.

Staying still means things don’t change. You have to move, you have to challenge yourself – this is how you grow and develop as a person.

This is how you make your future different to your past, if that’s what you want. But the first thing you have to do is have a vision about how you want your life to be. How you want to feel when you wake up each day. This has to be the starting point for everything else to work towards.

                      

My plans after next week – don’t exist yet. My plan for the future is to wait and see what happens. This is my choice of how to live my life. I know it sounds alien to most people but I am being true to myself.

My future vision is to have a big house or some land in the countryside, probably a few kids and dogs running about. Leading a peaceful and stress free lifestyle, living sustainably and simply without the clutter of too much ‘stuff’. Hosting retreats to help people ‘escape their bubble’ and make changes in their lives that they have always dreamt of.

I am working towards this happening in the next couple of years and it will. In the meantime, travel and seeing the world is my plan. Helping people I meet along to way to escape their bubbles and see the world differently.

Being a catalyst for change. This is my calling.

I know it’s a contradiction. To change you have to have a vision but to make it happen you need to stand still. Wait. Don’t try to control the future, it will unravel as its meant to and if you try and push things before they are ready, this will take you off course and cloud your true path. I have become so comfortable with this feeling but it took time and a lot of trust in my own heart. Patience truly is a virtue.

So stop right now and really think about you future.

Don’t think about the things going on now, imagine you have a blank slate and can design the life of your dreams. What would that look like? Where would you live? What work would you do? How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? What does your day look like?  What does your home look like? Who are you living with? Who are you?

This is your future vision. From this moment forward, every decision you make should be working towards making this dream a reality. And trust me – now you have put it out to the universe, the universe will be conspiring with you to make it happen. Every day do one small thing that takes you closer to you dreams.

But be aware, at times when you don’t think you deserve it, or are angry about something that happened in the past, you can make decisions that contradict your future vision – this takes you a step back to where you have come from, not forward to where you want to be. And in these moments we stop dreaming. We become stagnant, sad and weary and believe things can’t change. Well believe me, they absolutely can.

So keep that dream image in your mind from now on and think about it a lot.

Write it out.

Put it by the mirror in your bathroom and read it aloud morning and night.

Put it as your screen saver on your phone.

Put it everywhere you can see it.

Write it in the present tense as though you are already living in your dream life.

 

So what happens next?

 

That’s up to you.

 

Anything can happen.

 

Life is so short to not take chances when they arise. Live your reality and no-one else’s. Make decisions that align with your hopes and dreams and follow your heart – it truly already knows who you want to become.

 

Know that every single day you have a choice. To stand still and stay where you are or take risks, break out of the bubble and really chase your dreams. They are just over there, waving at you, calling you over and willing you to make the right choices to take you a step closer to realizing them.

 

Be bold. Be brave. Be you.

 

Yours in happiness,

 

Lisa xxxx

#escapeyourbubble

#boldbraveyou

 

Want to ‘Escape Your Bubble’? Contact me for a free initial call to discover your exciting future!

Lisa@lisajelly.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Climbing Mountains and Believing in Yourself #2

“I’m scared. Really shitting myself. Why we are being made to do this. I wonder what I can do to get out of it?”

This was my diary entry on the 14th October 2012.

I was on expedition with Raleigh International in Borneo and we had found out the whole expedition were being taken to climb Mount Kinabalu as part of Raleigh’s 10th birthday celebrations. Mount K is 4,000m high, 4 x the height of Snowdon.

If I had known this before, I probably would have pulled out of the expedition…..I HATED CLIMBING MOUNTAINS!!!

 

So why therefore, back in June this year did I CHOOSE to go mountain climbing and wild camping in Wales??

Why would I get up at 6am on a Saturday morning, drive 3 hours to Wales, climb a mountain, sleep in a tent on a mountain side, climb another mountain and then drive 3 hours home on Sunday??

To a lot of people this might sound like your idea of hell and to be honest, it would have been mine about 5 years ago when I wrote that diary entry!

Now I wouldn’t call myself an adventurer. In fact up until 2012, I made every effort to avoid walking up hills at all costs. I was most definitely a ‘flat path’ kind of girl. Getting out of breath? Why put yourself through that!

So back to the diary entry…….

I didn’t want to do it. I was scared. Scared I wouldn’t be fit enough, scared something bad would happen, scared I would fail, not reach the summit and be embarrassed when I had to walk back down the mountain, and scared that I would be at the back and everyone would laugh at me for being so slow. Talk about being out of my comfort zone – this was like a full on PANIC ALARM!!

 

In fact what happened was the total opposite.

I reached the summit and felt elated when I got there! My body was way more capable that I realized it was and easily got me to the top. Look how much I was smiling!!

       

I was at the back of the group but so were others and we worked together to get each other to the top in the most encouraging and supportive way, all willing each other to get there. No-one laughed at me.

In fact this experience went from being something I dreaded to being one of the biggest lessons I learnt about myself.

Physically, I learnt how amazing my body is and that it actually LOVES mountains!

Mentally, I realized I had way more strength and determination than I thought.

 

What I loved most is that we summited on the 12th December 2012.

12/12/12

This date had been significant for me for many years as my favourite number had always been 12!!

I hadn’t set out for this experience to happen, it wasn’t something I planned and didn’t really have any choice in completing it but now I see my life as pre 12/12/12 and post 12/12/12.

The date I realized I was capable of so much more in my life.

The date I ESCAPED MY BUBBLE for the first time and had a taste of what I wanted my life to really be like.

 

So that weekend in June 2017, Wild Camping and Mountain climbing in Wales has been on my adventure ‘list’ for sometime. I know this isn’t most people’s idea of a fun weekend, but since my experience in Borneo and other times on my travels (more about the stories I can post in later posts!!) I know I need to push myself out of my ‘Bubble’ (aka comfort zone!) to learn more about myself and how I cope in challenging situations.

       

 

This is so true. What was once in my panic zone (climbing a mountain) is now well and truly in my comfort zone. Now I’m looking for experiences to push and stretch me even further as I know I am capable and (most of the time!) believe I can do the things that scare me most.

This for me is the definition of ‘escaping my bubble’. Where my ‘bubble’ is safety, the things I know I can do, the predictable things that don’t require effort or energy. The things that bore me, but are safe and don’t come with any risk or fear. But my biggest life lesson? If I stay in my bubble, I don’t change, I don’t grow and ultimately I don’t have experiences in my life that I can use to help other people change their lives for the better.

At the moment, my bubble is being tested. Big time. I’m embarking on some scary stuff but I have a total belief in my heart that following my passions and dreams and doing the stuff that scares me is the right path.

I’ve never been one for ‘spiritual’ stuff, but right now I am listening to my heart, my soul, my intuition. Whatever you call it.

I know I am on the right path and I’m more excited than I ever have been in my life!

And I am acknowledging the real me is fighting to get out, the me that I stifled and suffocated throughout my 20s and early 30s in a job that I knew in my heart wasn’t what I wanted to do.

But before I climbed that bloody mountain, I didn’t believe I was capable of anything else.

Now I truly believe I can do anything I set my mind too. And I want to help others grow this self belief as on the outside of your ‘bubble’ is a whole world of adventure and excitement just waiting for you to arrive 🙂

Yours in happiness,

Lisa xx

#escapeyourbubble

#lifebeginsoutsideyourcomfortzone

#climbeverymountain

 

20 year old me: I’m too scared, I can’t possibly do that

40 year old me: Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. Be brave. You’ve got this.

 

.

 

 

 

The Gift of Procrastination #1

When I was studying for my A-levels I spent about 3 days on a really important, key aspect of my revision. It was a very detailed and well thought through piece of work I was really proud of.

It took priority over everything else I had to do and had pride of place on my wall.

I enjoyed colour coding it and re-wrote it about 20 times because the colours weren’t ‘just right’.

Yes you guessed it. My REVISION TIMETABLE!!

Even now some 20 something years later I can still picture it in my mind.

A work of art

A masterpiece.

Shame I didn’t spend so long on the actual revision and doing anything IMPORTANT during my study time!! I ended up with a D and two Es and no prospect of going to Uni to do a course that I actually wanted to do…….

The point is this. Why would you spend so much time on frivolous, meaningless work or tasks when there is so much more important work to do?? Such as ACTUALLY STUDYING!!

Master Procrastinator 

Over the years I have developed the skill of a Master Procrastinator. At every opportunity I will find something more ‘exciting’ to do and will leave EVERYTHING to the last minute! I have found excuses like ‘oh I work best under pressure’ and ‘I’ve got more time tomorrow’. And quite frankly, I’m getting bored of the sound of ‘Procrastination Queen’ ringing in my ears.

I do however know that there is always a reason why we do everything. Most of the time our subconscious is working the strings behind the scenes and making us do things without our conscious mind even realizing.

People say ‘oh set yourself a deadline’ or ‘give yourself a reward when you’ve done it’. Nope. Neither works for me. Let me wallow in my procrastination hovel and bask in the glory of indecision……

As starting this blog has proven, there is no time like the present future (!). I have been concocting this idea for some time. 8 months to be precise. 8 frigging months to write a 1500 word blog, do a bit of design work on a website and set up a Facebook group. I reckon so far the actual DOING work has been about 8 hours. The THINKING work, about 5000 hours. That is no joke. In fact, I’ve been quite conservative in my estimate of thinking hours…..

Why do I procrastinate?

So as part of my commitment to this blog, I am journalling on the topics I’m writing about and will share the insights in the hope it will help other Master Procrastinators out there!

This is what I have learnt, using the ‘5 whys’ technique…..

  1. “Why do I procrastinate?”

Because I can’t make a decision

  1. “Why can’t I make a decision?”

Because I’m worried I might make the wrong decision

  1. “Why am I worried I might make the wrong decision?”

Because I’m scared I’ll fail

  1. “Why am I scared I’ll fail?”

Because I’m worried people will laugh at me for getting it wrong

  1. “Why am I worried that people will laugh at me?”

Because I don’t have any confidence and self belief in my ideas.

Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I always thought I was a confident and outgoing person but now I realize I have been ignoring some of these deeper feelings and I have been worrying about what other people think!

Through Journalling I have realized that:

I have to be so deeply connected with all my heart to something, otherwise I don’t see the value in doing it and therefore am not motivated to do it!

And if I don’t believe in it, how can other people?

This is liberating! Have I solved MASTER PROCRASTINATOR disease?! Hmm, not sure its that simple…..

It’s a gift!

Most recently I have been focusing on my own spiritual journey and the acknowledgement that PROCRASTINATION is actually a gift I have. A gift that my soul, unconscious, whatever you choose to call it, is actually guiding me towards my TRUE PATH. And that listening to my soul / my intuition when I am procrastinating, ‘sitting’ with decisions for a while, gaining peace with standing still and not doing something, is actually moving me closer towards my dream and life purpose. Which goes against all human intuition an conditioning to be looking forward, planning, chasing our dreams!

For over 8 months now I have felt lost. Like I knew something big was going to happen but because I couldn’t put my finger on it, I labeled this ‘lost’ feeling as ‘procrastination’ and was frustrated that I wasn’t moving forward and making changes in my life. In the last couple of months through journaling, reading some great books, speaking to the wonderful people in my life and really listening to my heart, its made me realize I am EXACTLY WHERE I AM MEANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.

And since I started to REALLY listen to my heart, I have made some HUGE decisions, and am bursting with excitement that my ‘procrastination’ has paid off……I’m going to right another blog about my BIG ADVENTURE but suffice to say, it’s a couple of ticks off my ’40 list’ and I’m about to realize some huge dreams I’ve had for many years……

And through the last few months, I have witnessed my own self awareness grow – I actually first drafted this blog post 2 months ago but ‘something’ stopped me from publishing it. I realize now that I hadn’t finished the learning I needed about procrastination to be able to write it properly. In fact, I scrapped the original content……

But now I am ready to share! And in the name of providing something tangible to help others who also suffer from the gift of PROCRASTINATION, look out for a future blog with my tips on how to accept it as part of who you are and what to do when you feel like pulling out your hair / screaming very loudly because you’re not moving forward as quickly as you ‘think’ you should be…….

As for my A levels? My learning now is that I’d never really followed my heart and studied what I loved. If only there was a ‘Procrastination’ a-level – I’d get top marks…….now my dream and purpose is to help others find their dream life and create a path to live it. I’m eternally grateful for my gift of procrastination. It’s keeping me right where I need to be right now 🙂

As for this blog – I’m on a roll now! I have so much to write about, so many things ticked off my adventure list I can’t wait to share with you 🙂

Yours in happiness,

Lisa xx

#escapeyourbubble

#masterprocrastinator

That little voice, the niggle that you can hear at the back of your mind?

Listen to it.

It always tells the truth. 

Lisa Jelly

 

 

Well here goes…..!!!

On the 1st November 2018 I will be 40 YEARS OLD!

I know hitting this so called life ‘milestone’ invokes FEAR into many people who are approaching it:

‘Where did the years go? What have I achieved with my life?’

‘Quick, I need to do something ‘crazy’ before the time runs out!’

‘Where’s my bucket-list!’

and ENVY for some in their later years:

’40? That’s still young! You’ve got so much life ahead of you!’

‘You’re lucky to have your health / own teeth / memory’

But for me, it’s been precursed by a number of years of genuine soul searching, finding my life purpose and now I identify being 40 as a real milestone to celebrate all I have achieved and look forward to what comes next.

Who I am kidding. I’m shitting myself about hitting 40. Outwardly I am adventurous, have a successful career, love trying new things, was a party animal in my younger days (!)  but internally I am scared of having so many things to achieve in life and not enough time to do them (yes ‘oldies’, I know this is an unnecessary fear but it’s one I have all the same!)

Alongside the ‘holy f*ck where did the years go’ feelings I currently have,  I’ve also been reflecting for some time on the various lessons I have learnt, especially in the last few years. I expect this is also a normal place for many late 30-somethings as we stare down the barrel of OLD AGE!!

On Reflection

My life has been full of amazing experiences and when I stop and think about it, I have had a wonderful 40 years on this planet. But there are things I would do differently if I had my time again and much of what I have learnt about myself are lessons that have come with time, and no-one could ever have taught me. But I feel drawn to share my life lessons with the world and after many years of procrastination (more on that later….) I am finally getting round to it, but with a little twist.

My biggest life lesson in recent years relates to the title of this blog: ESCAPE YOUR BUBBLE. I am so aware of being moved along the conveyor belt of life, following the same path as everyone else (school – uni – career – marriage – house – family etc) that I have looked to ways of stepping off the conveyor belt (or ‘escaping my bubble’ as I like to call it) and trying something different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying following this path is wrong, it’s just not for me. I like to bimble off down the path less travelled and not do the same as everyone else. (I think the topic of ‘rebellion’ will pop up as a theme in a later post!). I have reflected on this a lot recently and will talk more in later posts about how this concept links to ‘happiness’, ‘fulfilment’ and ‘purpose’ which are very topical in a lot of self development / online coaching content currently.

I’m also intrigued by the notion that we should ‘live for the day’ but in reality, how many people actually do this? I recently watched a BBC2 documentary called A Time to Live. The 12 people interviewed had all been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Their outlook was amazing, some even saying they were glad they had the cancer diagnosis as it changed their outlook on life:

If my choice had been to live longer and not have cancer and not have the insight that I have got, I wouldn’t take it. I think I would rather have my cancer diagnosis and change my life in the way I have. I was wasting life before and would never have appreciated life if it was not for cancer so cancer definitely been a gift and if my exchange for that is time then I am willing to accept that gift.

Isn’t that an incredible statement to make?  Why does it take a terminal diagnosis for us to:

‘Seize the day!’

‘Live for the moment!’

‘Escape your bubble!’

when the only certainty we have in life is that one day we’ll all be 6 feet under anyway?!

I want to explore my own attitude towards this using the lessons I have learnt as my guide, especially how society, the media, our education system,  our culture, all drive us to lead a certain way of life but in reality, there are things we all want to do sitting in the ‘one day’ pile…….

What happens if we decide to focus on the ‘one day’ pile and ‘escape our bubble’?!

Where am I now?

At the moment, I am already out of my comfort zone having recently set up my own HR and coaching business and working for myself and not for a large corporate as I have done for the last 15 years. This already is a huge test where I am putting all I have learnt about myself into practice. But for me, it’s not enough. I need to have a challenge in my life that feels way out of my comfort zone……

So what am I going to do?

Well hopefully, lots of things!! Over the next 18 months I am dedicating my life to achieving:

’40 Things B4 I’m Forty’!!!!

This list will take me on many adventures – some are going to be tough, some pretty easy, some are at home, some are abroad, some will take time, some will take lots of energy, most will push me out of my comfort zone, some may make me happy, some will be frustrating and some I may not manage to achieve. But ALL of them will do one thing – enable me to see how far I can go and in my own way, ‘seize the day’ and really make the most of the gift of time that I have.

I will explore what mental strength I have inside, what really are my limits? How far can I escape from the bubble that I have lived in for my first 40 years on this planet? I’m hoping to learn so much more about myself and want to share my journey along the way in the hope that it may inspire you to consider how you can Escape Your Bubble.

So this blog will take the form of a public journal to track my progress as I try to achieve my ’40’ list and along the way I will reflect on my lessons learnt in life and how I am using everything I have learnt to help me achieve my dreams.

(It should work out to be a blog every 2 weeks, as you’ll see from the first official entry on my 40 list on the topic of ‘Procrastination’ I should have started this on the 1st May, exactly 18 months to the day but hey, this is my blog, my life, my lessons learnt!!)

Well here goes…….

My crazy adventure is about to start! I’m so excited to share it with you and extremely proud of myself for starting this blog – something I’ve been meaning to do for years (did I tell you I’m a procrastination queen??)The list of my 40 challenges will be published soon so keep an eye out and please join the mailing list below to receive updates when my new blog is published and follow my Facebook page here for more news and insights as I embark on my journey.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and even suggestions on challenges I could include – I have a list that I will publish on here soon but has a number of spaces in it so any thoughts welcome!!

Lots of love and happiness,

Lisa xxx

Challenges Completed: 1/40 (I started my blog – that was on the list woohoo!!)

 

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Be Bold. Be Brave. Be You!”

Lisa Jelly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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