Category: Uncategorized

STOP – Are you happy?

 

I spent my 20s ignoring the nagging in my heart. The little voice I locked away in a ‘black box’ at the back of my mind.

It took a lot of courage to say I wasn’t happy with my life, with my job, with my relationships. It took courage to say it to myself, let along anyone else! I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t happy. Just that ‘something didn’t feel right’. I was skilled at putting a smile on face and pretending everything was ‘fine’.  When inside, it wasn’t.

There is a ‘happiness index’ in the UK. According to the Office for National Statistics, people were asked to rate levels of happiness, anxiety and overall satisfaction with life, with the average score for satisfaction coming out at 7.69 out of 10. The good news is more people said they felt happier in the year ending June 2017 than the previous year but it still means 2.31 people out of every 10 are ‘dis-satisfied’ with their lives! That’s still shocking. Nearly a quarter of the population are not happy with their lives?? Whoa! Something needs to happen here!

But how many times do we actually say the words ‘I’m not happy’?

When do we ask each other ‘Are you happy?’ and give honest responses?

Perhaps it’s the British ‘stuff upper lip’ or the influence of social media presenting everyone’s ‘perfect’ lives that makes it hard to say ‘actually no, things are a bit shit, could you help me’?

Its not to say happy people are happy all the time and unhappy people are always unhappy – this for me is about that general feeling that ‘something’ is missing from life, something is going on that isn’t fulfilling you.

Happiness should be the feeling you want to have when you look back on your life in your old age, and know you did everything in your power to live the life that is true to your heart. (for inspiration check this article on The Regrets of the Dying)

With the rise in levels of depression and anxiety among our population, it is even more important that we take the time to check out our own ‘happiness’ levels, and give ourselves permission when we are not happy to admit to it. Everyone has their own definition of ‘happy’ and I hope over the next few blogs you can start to uncover your own ‘happiness’ index and start to take some steps to bring you back to a 10/10 for life satisfaction.

Its too easy to plod along with every day, ignoring the niggle locked in the black box, saying ‘I’ll deal with that later’. I implore you, if you feel the niggle, if you’ve got The Wobble Factor (see previous blog here) now is the time to act on it. Draw out those feelings. Hit them head on and do something about it. You don’t have time in life to wait.

One tip I have found works wonders for me to work out what I am ‘really’ feeling deep down is writing. It’s a bit old school but a notebook and pen have been my saviours on my self discovery journey over the past couple of years .

When my coach suggested writing, I thought ‘what a load of bollocks’ But now I’m the other side of it, I can’t recommend the practice of regular journaling enough. Often if I’m over thinking something or worrying, I go straight to my journal and write.

And there is a reason for this.

We live most of our time in our ‘conscious’ minds. We are trained out of using our subconscious from a young age in schools where we follow a structured, process focused education system.

Our subconscious is where all our beliefs, deep desires and true feelings live. It develops mainly when we are between 4-7 when our neural pathways connect to hardwire into us who we are going to develop into as adults. And then continues to develop, but we don’t acknowledge our subconscious very often. In fact T.Harv Eker author of Secrets of a Millionaire Mind says that 80% of us live in our conscious minds all the time.

Our ego (that is our conscious mind) does so much of the work and it’s very good at pushing the subconscious out of the way.

But why is the subconscious important and what does this have to do with writing and happiness?

Writing acts like a magic ‘superhighway’ to what is going on in your subconscious, in your soul. Its like a direct line to your deepest inner thoughts, dreams, desires, what makes your happy. The real stuff that is hidden away in the ‘black box’. When you write (and it has to be pen and paper not typing!) you will find things come out on the paper that you had no idea were there!

Trust me. It’s a bizarre thing when it happens the first time!!

And I’ve made some major life choices in the last couple of years based on what has come out when I have been writing.

Writing removes the veil, the filter that happens when you ‘think’ about things too much, when you let you mind do the thinking and don’t connect with your soul that ‘sits’ in your subconscious. It may sounds strange, and that’s because your mind is telling you it is! Listen to your heart. Your intuition. It’s the ‘real’ you.

So here’s what to do:

  1. Find yourself a pen and a notebook and sit at a table. In a quiet place with no-one around to disturb you.
  2. Set yourself a timer for 10 minutes.
  3. Now when the timer starts, put the pen onto the paper and write. Don’t THINK about what you are writing. And write as fast as you possibly can. Don’t stop. Just keep going. It might not make any sense, your writing will probably be crap. But just write. Keep going. Don’t stop.

This is called ’Free-writing’ and is a powerful tool.

  1. Once you have free written for the 10 minutes, stop and observe how you feel? What came up for you?

Perhaps something, maybe not a lot.

But now you are on your journey to open up your subconscious, open up and connect with your soul and start to awaken what is going on with your ‘happiness’ levels and what you can do about it.

I find asking myself a question before I write is helpful. Once you start to write, you’ll come up with your own questions that you want to answer.

But here are a few that will start you off:

What am I happy about it my life?

What am I unhappy about in my life?

What do I want to change?

How committed am I to making these changes?

I suggest you start this practice every day. Spend 15-20 minutes quietly journaling. Write a question at the top of the page or just free-write. Whatever feels right to you. Just DO NOT THINK!! Otherwise it won’t work. It doesn’t matter what you write, no-one else ever needs to see this.

Just know that the writing is TRULY YOU. Its your SOUL coming through to show you that it is awakening and leading you on the path to lead your true life that will lead you to 10/10 satisfaction and happiness every day, or at least on most days!

Enjoy!

Lisa xx

Follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs

#escapeyourbubble

#boldbraveyou

 

Tents, Beaches and Connection #3

Tomorrow I will have been living in Devon for 40 days. (There’s that pesky number 40 again!!!)

 

40 days of pub work, living on a campsite, making new friends, walking lots but most importantly, a chance to ‘stop’ and reflect on where I am and where I am headed.

My reasons for being in Devon are to try and work out what I’m doing with my life.

Because we all need a plan, right?

Perhaps not…..

This trip was intended to sort out my head a bit. I know from past experience that I find it impossible to sort anything out when I am at ‘home’ – my friends laugh at me for not settling, never wanting to be in one place for too long but the truth is, I love the excitement of learning about new places and people – because in these moments, I learn the most about myself.

Also living closer to nature, leading a simple life, strips away the constant stimulation of ‘stuff’ that we have in our homes, the shops, our jobs. This brings us closer to who we are deep down.

Waking up to this view every morning has been a great start to my days:

                

Connection is powerful.

Especially connection with people and places you have not experienced before. Having new conversations stretches your thinking, generates new ideas and opinions and encourages the stimulation of change within. Spending time with people from different backgrounds, ages, views, facilitates reflection on who you are, where you’ve come from and where you are going. It’s an amazing feeling of community when a bunch of strangers find themselves together but share common values, supporting each other and being like family. I have experienced all of this in 40 days and loved every moment, every insight, every thought provoking conversation and thought that I have had. And I have made friends for life.

                                            

My lessons in this short period have been quite overwhelming. I have been meditating lots and spending time really looking deeply into my hopes, dreams and desires for the future and this is what I have realized.

Staying in the same place means you will have the same experiences.

Staying still means things don’t change. You have to move, you have to challenge yourself – this is how you grow and develop as a person.

This is how you make your future different to your past, if that’s what you want. But the first thing you have to do is have a vision about how you want your life to be. How you want to feel when you wake up each day. This has to be the starting point for everything else to work towards.

                      

My plans after next week – don’t exist yet. My plan for the future is to wait and see what happens. This is my choice of how to live my life. I know it sounds alien to most people but I am being true to myself.

My future vision is to have a big house or some land in the countryside, probably a few kids and dogs running about. Leading a peaceful and stress free lifestyle, living sustainably and simply without the clutter of too much ‘stuff’. Hosting retreats to help people ‘escape their bubble’ and make changes in their lives that they have always dreamt of.

I am working towards this happening in the next couple of years and it will. In the meantime, travel and seeing the world is my plan. Helping people I meet along to way to escape their bubbles and see the world differently.

Being a catalyst for change. This is my calling.

I know it’s a contradiction. To change you have to have a vision but to make it happen you need to stand still. Wait. Don’t try to control the future, it will unravel as its meant to and if you try and push things before they are ready, this will take you off course and cloud your true path. I have become so comfortable with this feeling but it took time and a lot of trust in my own heart. Patience truly is a virtue.

So stop right now and really think about you future.

Don’t think about the things going on now, imagine you have a blank slate and can design the life of your dreams. What would that look like? Where would you live? What work would you do? How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? What does your day look like?  What does your home look like? Who are you living with? Who are you?

This is your future vision. From this moment forward, every decision you make should be working towards making this dream a reality. And trust me – now you have put it out to the universe, the universe will be conspiring with you to make it happen. Every day do one small thing that takes you closer to you dreams.

But be aware, at times when you don’t think you deserve it, or are angry about something that happened in the past, you can make decisions that contradict your future vision – this takes you a step back to where you have come from, not forward to where you want to be. And in these moments we stop dreaming. We become stagnant, sad and weary and believe things can’t change. Well believe me, they absolutely can.

So keep that dream image in your mind from now on and think about it a lot.

Write it out.

Put it by the mirror in your bathroom and read it aloud morning and night.

Put it as your screen saver on your phone.

Put it everywhere you can see it.

Write it in the present tense as though you are already living in your dream life.

 

So what happens next?

 

That’s up to you.

 

Anything can happen.

 

Life is so short to not take chances when they arise. Live your reality and no-one else’s. Make decisions that align with your hopes and dreams and follow your heart – it truly already knows who you want to become.

 

Know that every single day you have a choice. To stand still and stay where you are or take risks, break out of the bubble and really chase your dreams. They are just over there, waving at you, calling you over and willing you to make the right choices to take you a step closer to realizing them.

 

Be bold. Be brave. Be you.

 

Yours in happiness,

 

Lisa xxxx

#escapeyourbubble

#boldbraveyou

 

Want to ‘Escape Your Bubble’? Contact me for a free initial call to discover your exciting future!

Lisa@lisajelly.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2019 ESCAPE YOUR BUBBLE

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑