Category: Blog

The Wobble Factor

So here you are. Approaching ‘middle age’ and reflecting on your life and career so far.

Maybe you’re looking back saying ‘holy moly, its been an awesome ride! I’ve achieved so much and only just got started!’. If that’s you, amazing! You are the 1 in 3 people who feel happy, content and fulfilled about their lives and careers.

Most people, myself included, started to question the ‘why’ of life as I approached my mid-30s.

‘Why did I choose this career path?’

‘Why am I stuck in a career that has no real purpose and is not fulfilling?’

‘Why didn’t I travel / have more adventures when I was younger?’

‘Why am I still single – what’s wrong with me?’

‘Why did I wear that hideous outfit back in 1998?’

This is what I call the The Wobble Factor.

When we have been swimming along nicely in life and then ‘WHOA’ all of a sudden from nowhere we feel like everything is about to implode:

  • You question the life path you are on.
  • Something feels ‘off’ but you’re not sure what.
  • You’re happy but something is missing.
  • You feel a bit all over the place and ‘wobbly’ about life.

It’s a scary place to be. I know. I was there back in 2012 and took a career break to try and ‘steady the wobble’ and work it all out.

I realized a lot had changed in my life since I’d started in my career 12 years earlier. But I hadn’t stopped along the way to check if I was still on the ‘right’ path – the path of life that really in my heart felt right to me.

This is so easy to do! We can easily get stuck on what I call the ‘conveyor belt’ of life: we finish education, have to get a job, perhaps find some (un)lucky soul who wants to spend their life with us, possibly have a couple of kids, get a mortgage and before you realize, you’ve hit your 30s and a panic sets in that you’re running out of time to do all the stuff in life that you want to do!!! For some of us, that means approaching 40 still single and with no kids: ‘is this what I really want for my life??’

Oh and you’re stuck in a job that you hate, but accept it as because it pays for the lifestyle you have become accustomed to.

‘Who cares if I’m working 100s of hours a week if I get the 2 week sunshine holiday once a year!’

 

You have become trapped in a bubble. A safe bubble, but one that is not enabling you to live a life where every aspect of it is 10/10 for how happy, satisfied and motivated you are every day.

So when you start to think about changing an aspect of your life and career, what is that fear that keeps poking it’s nose in….??

The little voice that says…..

‘nah don’t bother doing changing anything, it’s safer this side of the fence where you know what’s what’

 

‘Yeah your job might not float your boat anymore but at least it’s secure, you’re respected in your field, you’ve had loads of promotions so you must be great at it!’

 

‘What’s wrong with you? Just get on with this career, that feeling of ‘there must be more to life’ will go away when you hit that next salary goal!’

 

…but it never does.

 

This feeling that started out really small, just as a little niggle that ‘there must be more to life than this’ is gaining more airtime.

 

The voice saying ‘I reckon I should give it a shot’ and challenging the fear is getting louder….but what if the other side of this fear is so much ‘greener’ and I get to be successful, financially secure AND happy in my career and life choices?

 

It’s time to get REAL about your career and the lifestyle you dream of!

Escape the bubble you are trapped in!

 

So how do you ‘Escape Your Bubble’ and create a work and life of your dreams that fills your heart and soul with happiness and joy every day?

As someone who left the ‘security’ of a permanent corporate role (people did scream “what the hell are you doing?!!”) to leap into the unknown as a freelance Lifestyle and Career coach, I’ve had time to reflect over the last 18 months on what helped me to ‘escape my bubble’ when the Wobble Factor hit me!

In the lead up to launching my exciting coaching programme on the 1st December I’m going to share these insights over the next couple of weeks in a series of blogs called Escape Your Bubble NOW!

The series will cover everything I’ve learnt: from how we deal with the fear of change, work on our mindset around money, increase our confidence, surround ourselves with the ‘right’ people to just stopping and doing NOTHING and listening to my heart. There will also be ‘top tips’ so you can start working on these things RIGHT NOW! and plan your ‘escape’.

 

These insights have enabled me to make all my dreams come true – I’m currently writing this from Devon where I have moved for the winter to work in a gorgeous cottage and walk my dog Maggie on the beach every day!

(Shame it’s raining today but we can’t have everything!!)

#MyNonNegotiables

During my new programme I will support you on a journey of self discovery to make your dream lifestyle and career a reality.

To celebrate the launch, I’ve opened up a limited number of complimentary 1.5 hour coaching intensives in November to help you fast track along the path to Escape Your Bubble and change your life!

We only have one life so don’t waste any more time waiting or procrastinating – email hello@escapeyourbubble.co.uk to book your slot and let’s get you started on the path to Escape Your Bubble today!!

Lisa xxx

It can and will happen.

You are ready for this.

Just f’ing do it!! #JFDI

#escapeyourbubble

Climbing Mountains and Believing in Yourself #2

“I’m scared. Really shitting myself. Why we are being made to do this. I wonder what I can do to get out of it?”

This was my diary entry on the 14th October 2012.

I was on expedition with Raleigh International in Borneo and we had found out the whole expedition were being taken to climb Mount Kinabalu as part of Raleigh’s 10th birthday celebrations. Mount K is 4,000m high, 4 x the height of Snowdon.

If I had known this before, I probably would have pulled out of the expedition…..I HATED CLIMBING MOUNTAINS!!!

 

So why therefore, back in June this year did I CHOOSE to go mountain climbing and wild camping in Wales??

Why would I get up at 6am on a Saturday morning, drive 3 hours to Wales, climb a mountain, sleep in a tent on a mountain side, climb another mountain and then drive 3 hours home on Sunday??

To a lot of people this might sound like your idea of hell and to be honest, it would have been mine about 5 years ago when I wrote that diary entry!

Now I wouldn’t call myself an adventurer. In fact up until 2012, I made every effort to avoid walking up hills at all costs. I was most definitely a ‘flat path’ kind of girl. Getting out of breath? Why put yourself through that!

So back to the diary entry…….

I didn’t want to do it. I was scared. Scared I wouldn’t be fit enough, scared something bad would happen, scared I would fail, not reach the summit and be embarrassed when I had to walk back down the mountain, and scared that I would be at the back and everyone would laugh at me for being so slow. Talk about being out of my comfort zone – this was like a full on PANIC ALARM!!

 

In fact what happened was the total opposite.

I reached the summit and felt elated when I got there! My body was way more capable that I realized it was and easily got me to the top. Look how much I was smiling!!

       

I was at the back of the group but so were others and we worked together to get each other to the top in the most encouraging and supportive way, all willing each other to get there. No-one laughed at me.

In fact this experience went from being something I dreaded to being one of the biggest lessons I learnt about myself.

Physically, I learnt how amazing my body is and that it actually LOVES mountains!

Mentally, I realized I had way more strength and determination than I thought.

 

What I loved most is that we summited on the 12th December 2012.

12/12/12

This date had been significant for me for many years as my favourite number had always been 12!!

I hadn’t set out for this experience to happen, it wasn’t something I planned and didn’t really have any choice in completing it but now I see my life as pre 12/12/12 and post 12/12/12.

The date I realized I was capable of so much more in my life.

The date I ESCAPED MY BUBBLE for the first time and had a taste of what I wanted my life to really be like.

 

So that weekend in June 2017, Wild Camping and Mountain climbing in Wales has been on my adventure ‘list’ for sometime. I know this isn’t most people’s idea of a fun weekend, but since my experience in Borneo and other times on my travels (more about the stories I can post in later posts!!) I know I need to push myself out of my ‘Bubble’ (aka comfort zone!) to learn more about myself and how I cope in challenging situations.

       

 

This is so true. What was once in my panic zone (climbing a mountain) is now well and truly in my comfort zone. Now I’m looking for experiences to push and stretch me even further as I know I am capable and (most of the time!) believe I can do the things that scare me most.

This for me is the definition of ‘escaping my bubble’. Where my ‘bubble’ is safety, the things I know I can do, the predictable things that don’t require effort or energy. The things that bore me, but are safe and don’t come with any risk or fear. But my biggest life lesson? If I stay in my bubble, I don’t change, I don’t grow and ultimately I don’t have experiences in my life that I can use to help other people change their lives for the better.

At the moment, my bubble is being tested. Big time. I’m embarking on some scary stuff but I have a total belief in my heart that following my passions and dreams and doing the stuff that scares me is the right path.

I’ve never been one for ‘spiritual’ stuff, but right now I am listening to my heart, my soul, my intuition. Whatever you call it.

I know I am on the right path and I’m more excited than I ever have been in my life!

And I am acknowledging the real me is fighting to get out, the me that I stifled and suffocated throughout my 20s and early 30s in a job that I knew in my heart wasn’t what I wanted to do.

But before I climbed that bloody mountain, I didn’t believe I was capable of anything else.

Now I truly believe I can do anything I set my mind too. And I want to help others grow this self belief as on the outside of your ‘bubble’ is a whole world of adventure and excitement just waiting for you to arrive 🙂

Yours in happiness,

Lisa xx

#escapeyourbubble

#lifebeginsoutsideyourcomfortzone

#climbeverymountain

 

20 year old me: I’m too scared, I can’t possibly do that

40 year old me: Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. Be brave. You’ve got this.

 

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The Gift of Procrastination #1

When I was studying for my A-levels I spent about 3 days on a really important, key aspect of my revision. It was a very detailed and well thought through piece of work I was really proud of.

It took priority over everything else I had to do and had pride of place on my wall.

I enjoyed colour coding it and re-wrote it about 20 times because the colours weren’t ‘just right’.

Yes you guessed it. My REVISION TIMETABLE!!

Even now some 20 something years later I can still picture it in my mind.

A work of art

A masterpiece.

Shame I didn’t spend so long on the actual revision and doing anything IMPORTANT during my study time!! I ended up with a D and two Es and no prospect of going to Uni to do a course that I actually wanted to do…….

The point is this. Why would you spend so much time on frivolous, meaningless work or tasks when there is so much more important work to do?? Such as ACTUALLY STUDYING!!

Master Procrastinator 

Over the years I have developed the skill of a Master Procrastinator. At every opportunity I will find something more ‘exciting’ to do and will leave EVERYTHING to the last minute! I have found excuses like ‘oh I work best under pressure’ and ‘I’ve got more time tomorrow’. And quite frankly, I’m getting bored of the sound of ‘Procrastination Queen’ ringing in my ears.

I do however know that there is always a reason why we do everything. Most of the time our subconscious is working the strings behind the scenes and making us do things without our conscious mind even realizing.

People say ‘oh set yourself a deadline’ or ‘give yourself a reward when you’ve done it’. Nope. Neither works for me. Let me wallow in my procrastination hovel and bask in the glory of indecision……

As starting this blog has proven, there is no time like the present future (!). I have been concocting this idea for some time. 8 months to be precise. 8 frigging months to write a 1500 word blog, do a bit of design work on a website and set up a Facebook group. I reckon so far the actual DOING work has been about 8 hours. The THINKING work, about 5000 hours. That is no joke. In fact, I’ve been quite conservative in my estimate of thinking hours…..

Why do I procrastinate?

So as part of my commitment to this blog, I am journalling on the topics I’m writing about and will share the insights in the hope it will help other Master Procrastinators out there!

This is what I have learnt, using the ‘5 whys’ technique…..

  1. “Why do I procrastinate?”

Because I can’t make a decision

  1. “Why can’t I make a decision?”

Because I’m worried I might make the wrong decision

  1. “Why am I worried I might make the wrong decision?”

Because I’m scared I’ll fail

  1. “Why am I scared I’ll fail?”

Because I’m worried people will laugh at me for getting it wrong

  1. “Why am I worried that people will laugh at me?”

Because I don’t have any confidence and self belief in my ideas.

Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I always thought I was a confident and outgoing person but now I realize I have been ignoring some of these deeper feelings and I have been worrying about what other people think!

Through Journalling I have realized that:

I have to be so deeply connected with all my heart to something, otherwise I don’t see the value in doing it and therefore am not motivated to do it!

And if I don’t believe in it, how can other people?

This is liberating! Have I solved MASTER PROCRASTINATOR disease?! Hmm, not sure its that simple…..

It’s a gift!

Most recently I have been focusing on my own spiritual journey and the acknowledgement that PROCRASTINATION is actually a gift I have. A gift that my soul, unconscious, whatever you choose to call it, is actually guiding me towards my TRUE PATH. And that listening to my soul / my intuition when I am procrastinating, ‘sitting’ with decisions for a while, gaining peace with standing still and not doing something, is actually moving me closer towards my dream and life purpose. Which goes against all human intuition an conditioning to be looking forward, planning, chasing our dreams!

For over 8 months now I have felt lost. Like I knew something big was going to happen but because I couldn’t put my finger on it, I labeled this ‘lost’ feeling as ‘procrastination’ and was frustrated that I wasn’t moving forward and making changes in my life. In the last couple of months through journaling, reading some great books, speaking to the wonderful people in my life and really listening to my heart, its made me realize I am EXACTLY WHERE I AM MEANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.

And since I started to REALLY listen to my heart, I have made some HUGE decisions, and am bursting with excitement that my ‘procrastination’ has paid off……I’m going to right another blog about my BIG ADVENTURE but suffice to say, it’s a couple of ticks off my ’40 list’ and I’m about to realize some huge dreams I’ve had for many years……

And through the last few months, I have witnessed my own self awareness grow – I actually first drafted this blog post 2 months ago but ‘something’ stopped me from publishing it. I realize now that I hadn’t finished the learning I needed about procrastination to be able to write it properly. In fact, I scrapped the original content……

But now I am ready to share! And in the name of providing something tangible to help others who also suffer from the gift of PROCRASTINATION, look out for a future blog with my tips on how to accept it as part of who you are and what to do when you feel like pulling out your hair / screaming very loudly because you’re not moving forward as quickly as you ‘think’ you should be…….

As for my A levels? My learning now is that I’d never really followed my heart and studied what I loved. If only there was a ‘Procrastination’ a-level – I’d get top marks…….now my dream and purpose is to help others find their dream life and create a path to live it. I’m eternally grateful for my gift of procrastination. It’s keeping me right where I need to be right now 🙂

As for this blog – I’m on a roll now! I have so much to write about, so many things ticked off my adventure list I can’t wait to share with you 🙂

Yours in happiness,

Lisa xx

#escapeyourbubble

#masterprocrastinator

That little voice, the niggle that you can hear at the back of your mind?

Listen to it.

It always tells the truth. 

Lisa Jelly

 

 

Well here goes…..!!!

On the 1st November 2018 I will be 40 YEARS OLD!

I know hitting this so called life ‘milestone’ invokes FEAR into many people who are approaching it:

‘Where did the years go? What have I achieved with my life?’

‘Quick, I need to do something ‘crazy’ before the time runs out!’

‘Where’s my bucket-list!’

and ENVY for some in their later years:

’40? That’s still young! You’ve got so much life ahead of you!’

‘You’re lucky to have your health / own teeth / memory’

But for me, it’s been precursed by a number of years of genuine soul searching, finding my life purpose and now I identify being 40 as a real milestone to celebrate all I have achieved and look forward to what comes next.

Who I am kidding. I’m shitting myself about hitting 40. Outwardly I am adventurous, have a successful career, love trying new things, was a party animal in my younger days (!)  but internally I am scared of having so many things to achieve in life and not enough time to do them (yes ‘oldies’, I know this is an unnecessary fear but it’s one I have all the same!)

Alongside the ‘holy f*ck where did the years go’ feelings I currently have,  I’ve also been reflecting for some time on the various lessons I have learnt, especially in the last few years. I expect this is also a normal place for many late 30-somethings as we stare down the barrel of OLD AGE!!

On Reflection

My life has been full of amazing experiences and when I stop and think about it, I have had a wonderful 40 years on this planet. But there are things I would do differently if I had my time again and much of what I have learnt about myself are lessons that have come with time, and no-one could ever have taught me. But I feel drawn to share my life lessons with the world and after many years of procrastination (more on that later….) I am finally getting round to it, but with a little twist.

My biggest life lesson in recent years relates to the title of this blog: ESCAPE YOUR BUBBLE. I am so aware of being moved along the conveyor belt of life, following the same path as everyone else (school – uni – career – marriage – house – family etc) that I have looked to ways of stepping off the conveyor belt (or ‘escaping my bubble’ as I like to call it) and trying something different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying following this path is wrong, it’s just not for me. I like to bimble off down the path less travelled and not do the same as everyone else. (I think the topic of ‘rebellion’ will pop up as a theme in a later post!). I have reflected on this a lot recently and will talk more in later posts about how this concept links to ‘happiness’, ‘fulfilment’ and ‘purpose’ which are very topical in a lot of self development / online coaching content currently.

I’m also intrigued by the notion that we should ‘live for the day’ but in reality, how many people actually do this? I recently watched a BBC2 documentary called A Time to Live. The 12 people interviewed had all been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Their outlook was amazing, some even saying they were glad they had the cancer diagnosis as it changed their outlook on life:

If my choice had been to live longer and not have cancer and not have the insight that I have got, I wouldn’t take it. I think I would rather have my cancer diagnosis and change my life in the way I have. I was wasting life before and would never have appreciated life if it was not for cancer so cancer definitely been a gift and if my exchange for that is time then I am willing to accept that gift.

Isn’t that an incredible statement to make?  Why does it take a terminal diagnosis for us to:

‘Seize the day!’

‘Live for the moment!’

‘Escape your bubble!’

when the only certainty we have in life is that one day we’ll all be 6 feet under anyway?!

I want to explore my own attitude towards this using the lessons I have learnt as my guide, especially how society, the media, our education system,  our culture, all drive us to lead a certain way of life but in reality, there are things we all want to do sitting in the ‘one day’ pile…….

What happens if we decide to focus on the ‘one day’ pile and ‘escape our bubble’?!

Where am I now?

At the moment, I am already out of my comfort zone having recently set up my own HR and coaching business and working for myself and not for a large corporate as I have done for the last 15 years. This already is a huge test where I am putting all I have learnt about myself into practice. But for me, it’s not enough. I need to have a challenge in my life that feels way out of my comfort zone……

So what am I going to do?

Well hopefully, lots of things!! Over the next 18 months I am dedicating my life to achieving:

’40 Things B4 I’m Forty’!!!!

This list will take me on many adventures – some are going to be tough, some pretty easy, some are at home, some are abroad, some will take time, some will take lots of energy, most will push me out of my comfort zone, some may make me happy, some will be frustrating and some I may not manage to achieve. But ALL of them will do one thing – enable me to see how far I can go and in my own way, ‘seize the day’ and really make the most of the gift of time that I have.

I will explore what mental strength I have inside, what really are my limits? How far can I escape from the bubble that I have lived in for my first 40 years on this planet? I’m hoping to learn so much more about myself and want to share my journey along the way in the hope that it may inspire you to consider how you can Escape Your Bubble.

So this blog will take the form of a public journal to track my progress as I try to achieve my ’40’ list and along the way I will reflect on my lessons learnt in life and how I am using everything I have learnt to help me achieve my dreams.

(It should work out to be a blog every 2 weeks, as you’ll see from the first official entry on my 40 list on the topic of ‘Procrastination’ I should have started this on the 1st May, exactly 18 months to the day but hey, this is my blog, my life, my lessons learnt!!)

Well here goes…….

My crazy adventure is about to start! I’m so excited to share it with you and extremely proud of myself for starting this blog – something I’ve been meaning to do for years (did I tell you I’m a procrastination queen??)The list of my 40 challenges will be published soon so keep an eye out and please join the mailing list below to receive updates when my new blog is published and follow my Facebook page here for more news and insights as I embark on my journey.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and even suggestions on challenges I could include – I have a list that I will publish on here soon but has a number of spaces in it so any thoughts welcome!!

Lots of love and happiness,

Lisa xxx

Challenges Completed: 1/40 (I started my blog – that was on the list woohoo!!)

 

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Be Bold. Be Brave. Be You!”

Lisa Jelly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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