Month: November 2017

STOP – Are you happy?

 

I spent my 20s ignoring the nagging in my heart. The little voice I locked away in a ‘black box’ at the back of my mind.

It took a lot of courage to say I wasn’t happy with my life, with my job, with my relationships. It took courage to say it to myself, let along anyone else! I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t happy. Just that ‘something didn’t feel right’. I was skilled at putting a smile on face and pretending everything was ‘fine’.  When inside, it wasn’t.

There is a ‘happiness index’ in the UK. According to the Office for National Statistics, people were asked to rate levels of happiness, anxiety and overall satisfaction with life, with the average score for satisfaction coming out at 7.69 out of 10. The good news is more people said they felt happier in the year ending June 2017 than the previous year but it still means 2.31 people out of every 10 are ‘dis-satisfied’ with their lives! That’s still shocking. Nearly a quarter of the population are not happy with their lives?? Whoa! Something needs to happen here!

But how many times do we actually say the words ‘I’m not happy’?

When do we ask each other ‘Are you happy?’ and give honest responses?

Perhaps it’s the British ‘stuff upper lip’ or the influence of social media presenting everyone’s ‘perfect’ lives that makes it hard to say ‘actually no, things are a bit shit, could you help me’?

Its not to say happy people are happy all the time and unhappy people are always unhappy – this for me is about that general feeling that ‘something’ is missing from life, something is going on that isn’t fulfilling you.

Happiness should be the feeling you want to have when you look back on your life in your old age, and know you did everything in your power to live the life that is true to your heart. (for inspiration check this article on The Regrets of the Dying)

With the rise in levels of depression and anxiety among our population, it is even more important that we take the time to check out our own ‘happiness’ levels, and give ourselves permission when we are not happy to admit to it. Everyone has their own definition of ‘happy’ and I hope over the next few blogs you can start to uncover your own ‘happiness’ index and start to take some steps to bring you back to a 10/10 for life satisfaction.

Its too easy to plod along with every day, ignoring the niggle locked in the black box, saying ‘I’ll deal with that later’. I implore you, if you feel the niggle, if you’ve got The Wobble Factor (see previous blog here) now is the time to act on it. Draw out those feelings. Hit them head on and do something about it. You don’t have time in life to wait.

One tip I have found works wonders for me to work out what I am ‘really’ feeling deep down is writing. It’s a bit old school but a notebook and pen have been my saviours on my self discovery journey over the past couple of years .

When my coach suggested writing, I thought ‘what a load of bollocks’ But now I’m the other side of it, I can’t recommend the practice of regular journaling enough. Often if I’m over thinking something or worrying, I go straight to my journal and write.

And there is a reason for this.

We live most of our time in our ‘conscious’ minds. We are trained out of using our subconscious from a young age in schools where we follow a structured, process focused education system.

Our subconscious is where all our beliefs, deep desires and true feelings live. It develops mainly when we are between 4-7 when our neural pathways connect to hardwire into us who we are going to develop into as adults. And then continues to develop, but we don’t acknowledge our subconscious very often. In fact T.Harv Eker author of Secrets of a Millionaire Mind says that 80% of us live in our conscious minds all the time.

Our ego (that is our conscious mind) does so much of the work and it’s very good at pushing the subconscious out of the way.

But why is the subconscious important and what does this have to do with writing and happiness?

Writing acts like a magic ‘superhighway’ to what is going on in your subconscious, in your soul. Its like a direct line to your deepest inner thoughts, dreams, desires, what makes your happy. The real stuff that is hidden away in the ‘black box’. When you write (and it has to be pen and paper not typing!) you will find things come out on the paper that you had no idea were there!

Trust me. It’s a bizarre thing when it happens the first time!!

And I’ve made some major life choices in the last couple of years based on what has come out when I have been writing.

Writing removes the veil, the filter that happens when you ‘think’ about things too much, when you let you mind do the thinking and don’t connect with your soul that ‘sits’ in your subconscious. It may sounds strange, and that’s because your mind is telling you it is! Listen to your heart. Your intuition. It’s the ‘real’ you.

So here’s what to do:

  1. Find yourself a pen and a notebook and sit at a table. In a quiet place with no-one around to disturb you.
  2. Set yourself a timer for 10 minutes.
  3. Now when the timer starts, put the pen onto the paper and write. Don’t THINK about what you are writing. And write as fast as you possibly can. Don’t stop. Just keep going. It might not make any sense, your writing will probably be crap. But just write. Keep going. Don’t stop.

This is called ’Free-writing’ and is a powerful tool.

  1. Once you have free written for the 10 minutes, stop and observe how you feel? What came up for you?

Perhaps something, maybe not a lot.

But now you are on your journey to open up your subconscious, open up and connect with your soul and start to awaken what is going on with your ‘happiness’ levels and what you can do about it.

I find asking myself a question before I write is helpful. Once you start to write, you’ll come up with your own questions that you want to answer.

But here are a few that will start you off:

What am I happy about it my life?

What am I unhappy about in my life?

What do I want to change?

How committed am I to making these changes?

I suggest you start this practice every day. Spend 15-20 minutes quietly journaling. Write a question at the top of the page or just free-write. Whatever feels right to you. Just DO NOT THINK!! Otherwise it won’t work. It doesn’t matter what you write, no-one else ever needs to see this.

Just know that the writing is TRULY YOU. Its your SOUL coming through to show you that it is awakening and leading you on the path to lead your true life that will lead you to 10/10 satisfaction and happiness every day, or at least on most days!

Enjoy!

Lisa xx

Follow your heart and your intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs

#escapeyourbubble

#boldbraveyou

 

The Wobble Factor

So here you are. Approaching ‘middle age’ and reflecting on your life and career so far.

Maybe you’re looking back saying ‘holy moly, its been an awesome ride! I’ve achieved so much and only just got started!’. If that’s you, amazing! You are the 1 in 3 people who feel happy, content and fulfilled about their lives and careers.

Most people, myself included, started to question the ‘why’ of life as I approached my mid-30s.

‘Why did I choose this career path?’

‘Why am I stuck in a career that has no real purpose and is not fulfilling?’

‘Why didn’t I travel / have more adventures when I was younger?’

‘Why am I still single – what’s wrong with me?’

‘Why did I wear that hideous outfit back in 1998?’

This is what I call the The Wobble Factor.

When we have been swimming along nicely in life and then ‘WHOA’ all of a sudden from nowhere we feel like everything is about to implode:

  • You question the life path you are on.
  • Something feels ‘off’ but you’re not sure what.
  • You’re happy but something is missing.
  • You feel a bit all over the place and ‘wobbly’ about life.

It’s a scary place to be. I know. I was there back in 2012 and took a career break to try and ‘steady the wobble’ and work it all out.

I realized a lot had changed in my life since I’d started in my career 12 years earlier. But I hadn’t stopped along the way to check if I was still on the ‘right’ path – the path of life that really in my heart felt right to me.

This is so easy to do! We can easily get stuck on what I call the ‘conveyor belt’ of life: we finish education, have to get a job, perhaps find some (un)lucky soul who wants to spend their life with us, possibly have a couple of kids, get a mortgage and before you realize, you’ve hit your 30s and a panic sets in that you’re running out of time to do all the stuff in life that you want to do!!! For some of us, that means approaching 40 still single and with no kids: ‘is this what I really want for my life??’

Oh and you’re stuck in a job that you hate, but accept it as because it pays for the lifestyle you have become accustomed to.

‘Who cares if I’m working 100s of hours a week if I get the 2 week sunshine holiday once a year!’

 

You have become trapped in a bubble. A safe bubble, but one that is not enabling you to live a life where every aspect of it is 10/10 for how happy, satisfied and motivated you are every day.

So when you start to think about changing an aspect of your life and career, what is that fear that keeps poking it’s nose in….??

The little voice that says…..

‘nah don’t bother doing changing anything, it’s safer this side of the fence where you know what’s what’

 

‘Yeah your job might not float your boat anymore but at least it’s secure, you’re respected in your field, you’ve had loads of promotions so you must be great at it!’

 

‘What’s wrong with you? Just get on with this career, that feeling of ‘there must be more to life’ will go away when you hit that next salary goal!’

 

…but it never does.

 

This feeling that started out really small, just as a little niggle that ‘there must be more to life than this’ is gaining more airtime.

 

The voice saying ‘I reckon I should give it a shot’ and challenging the fear is getting louder….but what if the other side of this fear is so much ‘greener’ and I get to be successful, financially secure AND happy in my career and life choices?

 

It’s time to get REAL about your career and the lifestyle you dream of!

Escape the bubble you are trapped in!

 

So how do you ‘Escape Your Bubble’ and create a work and life of your dreams that fills your heart and soul with happiness and joy every day?

As someone who left the ‘security’ of a permanent corporate role (people did scream “what the hell are you doing?!!”) to leap into the unknown as a freelance Lifestyle and Career coach, I’ve had time to reflect over the last 18 months on what helped me to ‘escape my bubble’ when the Wobble Factor hit me!

In the lead up to launching my exciting coaching programme on the 1st December I’m going to share these insights over the next couple of weeks in a series of blogs called Escape Your Bubble NOW!

The series will cover everything I’ve learnt: from how we deal with the fear of change, work on our mindset around money, increase our confidence, surround ourselves with the ‘right’ people to just stopping and doing NOTHING and listening to my heart. There will also be ‘top tips’ so you can start working on these things RIGHT NOW! and plan your ‘escape’.

 

These insights have enabled me to make all my dreams come true – I’m currently writing this from Devon where I have moved for the winter to work in a gorgeous cottage and walk my dog Maggie on the beach every day!

(Shame it’s raining today but we can’t have everything!!)

#MyNonNegotiables

During my new programme I will support you on a journey of self discovery to make your dream lifestyle and career a reality.

To celebrate the launch, I’ve opened up a limited number of complimentary 1.5 hour coaching intensives in November to help you fast track along the path to Escape Your Bubble and change your life!

We only have one life so don’t waste any more time waiting or procrastinating – email hello@escapeyourbubble.co.uk to book your slot and let’s get you started on the path to Escape Your Bubble today!!

Lisa xxx

It can and will happen.

You are ready for this.

Just f’ing do it!! #JFDI

#escapeyourbubble

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