When I was studying for my A-levels I spent about 3 days on a really important, key aspect of my revision. It was a very detailed and well thought through piece of work I was really proud of.
It took priority over everything else I had to do and had pride of place on my wall.
I enjoyed colour coding it and re-wrote it about 20 times because the colours weren’t ‘just right’.
Yes you guessed it. My REVISION TIMETABLE!!
Even now some 20 something years later I can still picture it in my mind.
A work of art
Shame I didn’t spend so long on the actual revision and doing anything IMPORTANT during my study time!! I ended up with a D and two Es and no prospect of going to Uni to do a course that I actually wanted to do…….
The point is this. Why would you spend so much time on frivolous, meaningless work or tasks when there is so much more important work to do?? Such as ACTUALLY STUDYING!!
Over the years I have developed the skill of a Master Procrastinator. At every opportunity I will find something more ‘exciting’ to do and will leave EVERYTHING to the last minute! I have found excuses like ‘oh I work best under pressure’ and ‘I’ve got more time tomorrow’. And quite frankly, I’m getting bored of the sound of ‘Procrastination Queen’ ringing in my ears.
I do however know that there is always a reason why we do everything. Most of the time our subconscious is working the strings behind the scenes and making us do things without our conscious mind even realizing.
People say ‘oh set yourself a deadline’ or ‘give yourself a reward when you’ve done it’. Nope. Neither works for me. Let me wallow in my procrastination hovel and bask in the glory of indecision……
As starting this blog has proven, there is no time like the present future (!). I have been concocting this idea for some time. 8 months to be precise. 8 frigging months to write a 1500 word blog, do a bit of design work on a website and set up a Facebook group. I reckon so far the actual DOING work has been about 8 hours. The THINKING work, about 5000 hours. That is no joke. In fact, I’ve been quite conservative in my estimate of thinking hours…..
Why do I procrastinate?
So as part of my commitment to this blog, I am journalling on the topics I’m writing about and will share the insights in the hope it will help other Master Procrastinators out there!
This is what I have learnt, using the ‘5 whys’ technique…..
- “Why do I procrastinate?”
Because I can’t make a decision
- “Why can’t I make a decision?”
Because I’m worried I might make the wrong decision
- “Why am I worried I might make the wrong decision?”
Because I’m scared I’ll fail
- “Why am I scared I’ll fail?”
Because I’m worried people will laugh at me for getting it wrong
- “Why am I worried that people will laugh at me?”
Because I don’t have any confidence and self belief in my ideas.
Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I always thought I was a confident and outgoing person but now I realize I have been ignoring some of these deeper feelings and I have been worrying about what other people think!
Through Journalling I have realized that:
I have to be so deeply connected with all my heart to something, otherwise I don’t see the value in doing it and therefore am not motivated to do it!
And if I don’t believe in it, how can other people?
This is liberating! Have I solved MASTER PROCRASTINATOR disease?! Hmm, not sure its that simple…..
It’s a gift!
Most recently I have been focusing on my own spiritual journey and the acknowledgement that PROCRASTINATION is actually a gift I have. A gift that my soul, unconscious, whatever you choose to call it, is actually guiding me towards my TRUE PATH. And that listening to my soul / my intuition when I am procrastinating, ‘sitting’ with decisions for a while, gaining peace with standing still and not doing something, is actually moving me closer towards my dream and life purpose. Which goes against all human intuition an conditioning to be looking forward, planning, chasing our dreams!
For over 8 months now I have felt lost. Like I knew something big was going to happen but because I couldn’t put my finger on it, I labeled this ‘lost’ feeling as ‘procrastination’ and was frustrated that I wasn’t moving forward and making changes in my life. In the last couple of months through journaling, reading some great books, speaking to the wonderful people in my life and really listening to my heart, its made me realize I am EXACTLY WHERE I AM MEANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.
And since I started to REALLY listen to my heart, I have made some HUGE decisions, and am bursting with excitement that my ‘procrastination’ has paid off……I’m going to right another blog about my BIG ADVENTURE but suffice to say, it’s a couple of ticks off my ’40 list’ and I’m about to realize some huge dreams I’ve had for many years……
And through the last few months, I have witnessed my own self awareness grow – I actually first drafted this blog post 2 months ago but ‘something’ stopped me from publishing it. I realize now that I hadn’t finished the learning I needed about procrastination to be able to write it properly. In fact, I scrapped the original content……
But now I am ready to share! And in the name of providing something tangible to help others who also suffer from the gift of PROCRASTINATION, look out for a future blog with my tips on how to accept it as part of who you are and what to do when you feel like pulling out your hair / screaming very loudly because you’re not moving forward as quickly as you ‘think’ you should be…….
As for my A levels? My learning now is that I’d never really followed my heart and studied what I loved. If only there was a ‘Procrastination’ a-level – I’d get top marks…….now my dream and purpose is to help others find their dream life and create a path to live it. I’m eternally grateful for my gift of procrastination. It’s keeping me right where I need to be right now 🙂
As for this blog – I’m on a roll now! I have so much to write about, so many things ticked off my adventure list I can’t wait to share with you 🙂
Yours in happiness,
That little voice, the niggle that you can hear at the back of your mind?
Listen to it.
It always tells the truth.
Join in the fun!
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